


Some call it crazy

by JotunVali



Series: Everybody loves Eddie [1]
Category: Venom (Movie 2018)
Genre: Alien Sex, F/M, First Kiss, Fluff, Love Confessions, M/M, Multi, OT4, Oral Sex, Other, Porn with Feelings, Tentacle Sex, fanboy Dan, from "rivals" to lovers
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-01
Updated: 2019-11-20
Packaged: 2019-12-30 15:59:24
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 5,411
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18318560
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/JotunVali/pseuds/JotunVali
Summary: Eddie has a great love and sex life with his parasite-symbiote. Although Venom knows Eddie wants more. Eddie wishes to be reunited with Anne but won't try because of Dan. Because of a crazy queer reason.





	1. Chapter 1

Between the low sounds of alien licking, rose up a few human moans and groans. Eddie never would have thought being blow-jobbed by a cannibalistic space symbiote could felt so good. He bit his lower lip not to scream in pleasure. He heavily huffed out. Venom’s thick tongue was wrapped around his dick. It was winding back and forth his weak male appendix.

“Fuck… fuck… so good…” Eddie breathed in that high-pitched voice the symbiote was fond of.

**You like it, Eddie?**

“If… oh fuck! If I _like_ it? I’ve… ah… never felt so fucking good… before…”

**You never asked Anne to do it?**

“If Anne had such a longass tongue,... I’d have asked her long ago.” Eddie joked.

 **If you want, we could bond with her again and…** Venom suggested.

“Ah… no, no. Definitely a bad idea.”

**Why? She still loves you and you still love her.**

“It’s not… that simple…” Eddie’s erection flatted down.

 **Of course it is!** The symbiote retorted while abandoning the human’s manhood.

“What about...Dan? She left me for Dan. She wouldn’t cheat on him… I think.”

 **You** **_think_ ** **? So you’re not sure! And Dan doesn’t have to know. What’s more that’ll teach him for charging me with attempting murder on you.**

“Hey, he still helped me!” Eddie protested in a worn out voice. “He helped me… even if I am the ex of his girlfriend! Even after the mess we made... in that restaurant. After I … wait, after _you_ tried to kill him!” He accused the symbiote.

 **Then maybe I should bond with the so good doctor Dan instead!** Venom growled.

“Really? You’re jealous now?” Eddie laughed at him. “Like it or not but Dan is a really nice... and decent guy...! And I’m really glad Anne met him!” He asserted.

 **So glad it would pain you to see her cheat on him? Even with you? Is that it?** Venom showed his sharp fangs.

“Well, yeah. Yes.” Eddie nodded. “He’s… he’s a good guy. Clearly better than me. I don’t want the girl I love to left a perfect man to... debase herself with a sorry loser like me.” He tried to defend his point of view.

 **Even if she might want to?**   

“I… ah. Sorry, but... I can’t believe she’d want that.”

 **You’ve never been in her head. I did.** The symbiote reminded his host.

“Ugh… e-even assuming she might… want it… I… it wouldn’t be cool for Dan.” An unsure Eddie stuttered.

 **Again with Dan?? Eddie, we hate him!** Venom roared. **He stole Anne from us! He called me a parasite! Told you I was trying to kill you! And both you and Anne believed him! If I hadn’t managed to escape, we would be. Both. Dead! And the other Klyntar would have feasted over your Earth!**

“He just was trying to help, you boneless slime!” Eddie screeched out. “He’s... never seen an alien symbiote before! Like me, like Anne! How was he supposed to know how you work? Doctors are human, means they can make mistakes! And for fuck’s sake, how dare you talk about Anne that way?” He flamed up. “She’s not some... goodies Dan stole from me! She has left me on her own will! She has met Dan later! And it must be... the wisest decision she’s ever made!” His eyesight began to blur. “In Dan’s shoes, I’m not sure if,... even being a doctor, I would have gladly helped my wife’s ex who used her,... made her lose her job... and ruined our first date!” He yelled. “I’ve never, and I’m sure neither has Anne met someone like Dan before! He’s… perfect!” He almost spat the p. “He saves people, even trashbags like me! He’s more of a superhero than I’ll ever be!”

Venom remained silent a moment.

 **You love Dan.** The symbiote ended up deducting.

“Wha-?” Eddie chuckled, as his eyes glittered. “Pff! No! Why would I… ? He’s… he’s Anne’s boyfriend. That’s… that’s stupid.” He looked away.

 **_You_ ** **are stupid for thinking you’re a trashbag, Eddie. Stupid for thinking no one loves you. Stupid for denying your own feelings. But I warn you, I won’t do any sexy thing with Dan...**

“Neither will I, you horny-!”

**...because you just considered doing it.**

Eddie flew into a blind rage. He thought he was going to smash his bed on Venom’s head. Then he recalled he wasn’t strong enough for that and his symbiote wouldn’t feel a thing either way.

“Fuck you, V! Fuck you and your… privacy-breaking!” He cursed his alien boyfriend.

**I can go and find another host if you hate me so much! That way, you can freely court your precious Dan!**

“No!” Eddie freaked out. “No, please! Don’t leave me!” He begged, trying to clench his fingers over the gooey black substance.

 **Just kidding, Eddie.** Venom grinned. **I would never leave you.** He gently wiped off his crybaby of a host’s tears. **Never.**

“Dickhead…” The human whispered.

 **No. The dick is between your legs, Eddie. And I didn’t finish my ‘** **_job_ ** **’ here yet.**

“What? No, no, no. You kidding? Not after… Ugh!” Eddie groaned.

Shit. He couldn’t talk or even think properly when Venom was licking him… down there. Neither could he help comparing it with Anne’s technique. The symbiote clearly broke all records despite Anne was grandly skilled too. How would it felt… with Dan? Eddie wondered.

 **STOP WITH DAN ALREADY, EDDIE!** The done symbiote yelled his fangs out. The windows almost cracked open. **I DON’T CARE IF YOU LOVE THAT JERK BUT DON’T YOU DARE THINKING ABOUT HIM WHEN** **_I’_ ** **M SUCKING YOU!**

Eddie shuddered his heart off.

“The hell, V? You can’t… scream that loud!” He tried to whisper his heart racing like crazy. “For fuck’s sake! The neighbors will hear you!” He tried to remain calm and composed in spite of fright that was skyrocketing inside. He was seeing Venom as a man-eating monster again. He was… scared. No. Terrified.

**I DON’T CARE IF THEY…!**

The piqued alien noticed his host had shut down his eyes and was… whimpering? The symbiote’s milky white eyes widened up.

**Eddie?**

His human lover was shivering and small tears were leaking from the corner of his eyes.

**Why do you cry?**

“I’m… I’m scared… you bite me off…” Eddie answered in a trembling, carefully avoiding Venom’s stare on him.

**Why would I bite off something that gives us so much pleasure?**

That question didn’t seem to convince the little covered in sweat and tears human. That was what Eddie did when he was scared to death. Like on the first time he and Venom met.

 **Don’t cry, Eddie. I won’t bite us off. I’m not going to hurt you.** The symbiote licked Eddie’s tears off. **Trust me. Trust us.** Venom rubbed one tendril over his cheek. **Won’t hurt you. Never hurt you.**

To the alien’s surprise, Eddie grabbed one of the alien tentacles and slammed it against his heart.

“I trust... us.” Eddie admitted before he heard something like a purr.


	2. Chapter 2

“I trust... us.” Eddie admitted before he heard something like a purr.

Venom cupped his wet cheek with a large clawed hand. It felt warm.

**So do we, Eddie.** He happily grinned.  **What will you do about Dan?**

“I… I don’t know…”

**Are you going to confess to him?**

“Are you crazy? No way! It’s fucked up enough to be gay for my ex’s new boyfriend! I won’t… fuck it up more by screaming it out loud!”

**You don’t have to scream it.** Venom suggested.

“You got me! I won’t tell nothing!” Eddie made up his mind. “Dan has already been so nice with me. And what did I give him in return? I’m not gonna add a… creepy confession on his shoulders!”

He heard a sigh.

**Even if I’d rather have you for myself, with the exception of Annie obviously…** The symbiote began.

“What?” Eddie squeaked.

**Eddie, I want you to know… that what I want above everything… is to make** **you happy. Because I love you.**

“Oh. Well,...uh.” Eddie didn’t expect such honesty from his slimy other. Even just after the latter had sucked him dry. His face turned red as his heart beat faster. “Th-thank you. I guess. Love you too.”  

The symbiote covered his face with alien saliva by joyfully licking it.

**What I mean, Eddie… is if you want to confess to Dan… I won’t stop you.**

“A-alright. But as I just said, I won’t…”

**BecauseithappensthatdickheadDanlovesyoutoo.**

“Sorry wha-? Are you kid-? N-No it can’t- No! He… He can’t…” Eddie stuttered out of stress and excitement as he was recollecting what Dan had done for him until now. 

Dan all smiley and star-eyed in front of him then all at once shy (and flustered?) when Eddie offered to shake hands.

Dan immediately rescuing him instead of justifiably calling the cops when he broke in the restaurant biting off lobsters, stuffing his mouth with unidentified plates and puking… all during Dan and Annie’s date.

Dan being so goddamn sweet and patient with him after his panic attack in the MRI scanner, even after V tried to strangle him dead.

Dan… possibly loving him?

“N-No… it can’t be.” Eddie whimpered as a tear rolled over his cheek.

**Why it can’t be?**

“You, Annie, now Dan… no. I can’t… I don’t deserve so much…  _ that  _ much love.” Eddie assessed.

**Who said anything about deserving? You humans seem to attach a high value to a so called self-esteem. Trust me, it’s bullshit. It’s bullshit to decline someone’s love for you just because you think you’re ‘not worth it’. I think it’s very rude and really mean to the person who loves you. Also extremely stupid if you love that person back! You and that person will remain sad all your life just because of** **_your_ ** **stupid self-esteem issues! If Annie and Dan love you, and trust me they** **_DO_ ** **, do you really think they care about your made-up deserving of it? Do you think they want you to prove your ‘worth’ of their love? Do you really think they’ll give you a list of tests to achieve and kick you out if you fail? Do you really think people who’re truly in love behave like that?**

Eddie was breathless. His heart also froze.

**I’ll tell you what will happen if you talk to Dan. He’ll be really really happy, he’ll kiss you, and you’ll be really happy too! How will your stupid issues spoil that?**

Only his eyes were still functioning. Two waterfalls ran from them.

**What do you cry? Did I hurt you?**

_ Why? Why is everyone so sweet and adorable around me??  _

“Shut up and shove your tongue in my throat.” Eddie ordered in a cracking voice. “Darling.” He smiled.

**As you wish, sweetheart.**

 


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Eddie confesses his awkward feelings to Dan-chan.

Eddie had called Annie today. Pretended he wanted to ask Dan about his medical issues, see if everything was still ok, etc… There. He was in front of the door. He took a deep breath. Shit, his heart was beating so fast. 

**Don’t be so scared.**

“Yeah, easy for you to say. Have you ever confessed?”

**Yes, moron! To you! Many times! I’m not a quaky pussy like you.**

“Shut up!”

Dan opened the door. 

“Hey, Dan!” Eddie put on the most forced smile ever.

“Hey Eddie. Come in.” Dan warmly smiled to him.

_ Shit! He’s so freakin’ cute! _

“Is… Is Annie home?” Eddie tried to find a way out.

**Are you serious??** The symbiote sounded appalled.

“I don’t want her to see me confessing to  _ her  _ man!” Eddie whispered.

**Why?**

“Because shut up!”

“Eddie?” Dan called him.

“Yeah?” He abruptly turned back.

“What did you want to ask me?”

“Uuuuh…”  **Do you love me, Danny boy?** “Shut up!”

“Sorry?”

“Oh! No, I wasn’t talking to you, I…”

“Ah, yes. Your para… your symbiote. How is it with...uh, him?” Dan questioned.

“Splendid. Nothing wrong.”

**Except some villains’ bit off delicious heads.**

“Well, good.” Dan stared at the floor.

**He doesn’t know what to say. Plus he looks like he’s blushing. He’s shy around you, Eddie.**

“Uh, do you… do you want a coffee?” Dan offered.

“Oh… yeah. Yes, please.” Eddie nodded.

Dan raced off to the kitchen.

**Wow. Look how unsure he is. That’s a good sign, Eddie.**

“You’re seeing things, V.” The uncomfortable host mumbled.

**Yes. The things** **_you_ ** **see, Eddie.**

Eddie searched for a seat. He sat on the couch. His former couch.

**Maybe our future couch.**

“Stop the nonsense, please.”

**For fuck sake, Eddie! Tell him, and you’ll see if I talk nonsense! Pussy!**

“Spermatozoan!”

**I know what that means, you jerk!**

“I know you know, alien bastard!”

**I’ll bite off your small dick tonight!**

“Here’s your coffee, Eddie.” Dan put the mug on the table.

“Oh! Th-Thank you… Dan.”

“I see you have… busy conversations with your friend.” The doctor smiled.

“Yeah… sorry about that.” Eddie apologized before he started to intensely sip his coffee.

He and Dan remained starkly and awkwardly silent. Loudly sipping boiling hot coffee.

**Great. You’ll advance at a dashing speed that way.**

Eddie kept on sipping his coffee. It tasted terribly bitter and gross. He drank it anyway. It was the only way to avoid Dan’s angelic face.

**It will taste more bitter if you don’t talk to him!**

Venom was right. But Eddie was so scared. How should he tell Dan about his bizarre feelings?

**Bizarre? You’re ok with having sex with an alien but it’s ‘bizarre’ when you want to confess to a fellow human?**

The ex Daily Bugle reporter took the plunge. He almost crushed down his coffee mug. Making poor Dan flinch in the process.

“Dan, there’s… uh… I...uh. I… I-I might…uh... have feelings... for you.” Eddie mumbled.

Dan thought he surely had misheard it.

“Uh… wh-what?” The confused doctor blinked.

“I… I said I might be… i-in love with...uhm…” Eddie chewed on his lips. He didn’t dare to end his sentence. Or to look into Dan’s eyes.

The latter suddenly grabbed his trembling hand.

“E-Eddie, is… is that true?” Dan asked with a high amount of hope in his voice. 

“I… I…” The journalist was out of words as tears began to dwell in the corner of his eyes.

Dan softly squeezed his hand.

“I… I love you too, Eddie!” The doctor confessed out of the blue. “I-I’ve been in love with you since…” He tried to remember. “... since I’ve discovered your TV show!” He admitted. “And even more… since I’ve met you.” 

Eddie stared at him at last.

“Wha…? Really?”

V was right since the beginning?

“Really!” Dan confirmed in a bright smile. “Wait. Are you crying?” His smile faded off.

“What?” Eddie touched his wet eyelids. “Oh. Yeah I am.” He sniffed and looked away again.

“Wha-What is it? Is it something I said?”

_ Stop! Stop being so cute! For God’s sake! _

“N-No… well, maybe…”  **_‘Maybe’_ ** **? Are you that stupid?** “No! No, sorry… you… you didn’t…” Eddie stammered as tears were blurring his diction and blocking his throat. “It’s just I… I didn’t…”

_ I didn’t expect you loved me back!  _

“Hey, Eddie.” Dan stood up and came to sit next to him. He put his arm around his quivering shoulders. “It’s ok. It’s ok.” He softly whispered.

Eddie couldn’t help it. He jumped on Dan and hugged him. Tight. 

_ He’s so soft and so warm.  _ The tearful reporter thought as his thick tears were soaking Dan’s sweater.  _ I love you. I love you! _

“I love you…” He squeaked against Dan’s ear.

“Eddie…” The doctor tenderly hugged him back. “I… I’ve never dared to hope… a cool guy like you… could… just  _ like  _ me. Especially after I’ve dated his girl…”

“Annie’s the girl of nobody…” Eddie mumbled.

“You’re right.” Dan hugged him a bit tighter.

“Let alone… mine.” Eddie whined.

“What do you mean?”

“You’re a better… you’re the best boyfriend Annie could dream of.” Eddie wept. “I’m… I’m glad she left me… for you.”

“Oh Eddie…” Dan sighed. “Don’t talk like that. Everyone makes mistakes.”

“I surpass everyone in that field, though.” Eddie bitterly chuckled.

“You can’t know that, Eddie.” Dan retorted. “Annie still talks a lot about you, you know.”

“Does she?” Eddie tried to smile before a heavy silence settled in the room. “What is wrong… what is wrong with me, Dan?” Eddie whined in the neck of the doctor.

“Nothing’s wrong with you. You’re an incredible man, Eddie…” The medical  fanboy whispered. “If you only knew how incredible you are.” He breathed.

Eddie chuckled. Then sniffed again.

“Not as much as you. Doctor.” He failed to laugh.

“I do my best. Just like you. But… if you want a diagnosis… I think you just fall in love easily.” 

“You’ve noticed?” Eddie failed to laugh again; still clinging to Dan like a koala on a tree.

**See? It wasn’t that hard!**

“Kiss me.” Eddie urged Dan.

“What?”

**What?**

“Kiss me, I-I want you to kiss me. Here and now… Please…” Eddie begged; this time looking right into Dan’s eyes. With his red and puffy own.

“Anne is in the house, Eddie. She… she might see…” Dan stammered, lost for words.

“Then hurry up, good-looking.”

“God, she was right. Such a trouble-seeker.” Dan smiled.

“I can call you  _ ‘trouble _ ’ if you w-”

Dan cut Eddie off with his lips. Damn, his kiss was so good. Not as passionate as Anne, even less passionate than Venom but it was… nice. Gentle. Eddie liked that. Dan was a gifted kisser. How? Maybe…

**Maybe he loves you, dumbass.**


	4. Chapter 4

“Shit, not now, Venom!” Eddie complained out loud.

“Venom? Wait, is this… alien thing here?”

 **I am! And I’m not a** **_thing_ ** **!** The symbiote emerged from Eddie’s shoulder and made his best to show Dan his long sharp fangs in their whole splendor.

“Leave him alone! I told you he’s a good guy!” Eddie ordered.

“You did?” Dan asked.

 **I don’t care! And I still don’t like you, Dan! Besides, I kiss way better than you!** Venom alleged.

“What the fuck, V? Oh! No, no, no.” Eddie wiggled his finger. “No! You don’t intend to… No! No way! I won’t let you!”

**I’m not gonna eat him! Just shove my tongue deep down his weak throat so his mind turns into fog for the next days.**

“Fucking insane symbiote! Like I’ll let you-”

“Ok.” 

“What?” **What?**

“I… I accept your... challenge.” Dan told the symbiote. “Show me how you... kiss in outer space.”

“What?” Eddie squeaked in terror. “You’re insane too!”

 **That’s the type you love, Eddie.** Venom mocked his host before he slowly licked the doctor’s lips. **Aren’t you scared, Dan Lewis?**

“A bit, yeah. Though I’ve seen... way scarier things before.” Dan admitted in a trembling voice.

“D-Dan, you don’t have to… That jerk loves to play the big bad wolf and impress the people he meets… while the truth is he likes chocolate and romance movies.” Eddie ratted out his symbiote.

 **Traitor!** Venom gasped.

“Meh. Dan would have discovered it sooner or later, darling.” Eddie defended himself. “You’re a bad actor, that’s just it.”

**Well, even if you now know my true identity, it won’t stop me from swirling and twirling my tongue inside you, Dan.**

“I will!” Eddie reminded Venom. “I formally forbid you…” He poked the symbiote. “...to hurt him, or just tease him!”

“E-Eddie, I said I was ok with it.” Dan assured him. “If it goes wrong, you’re here to protect me, aren’t you?” He gave Eddie his annoyingly cute smile.

“Ah. Alright. Just… one try. Not more.” Eddie warned.

**Fine! You ready, Dan?**

“I am.”

**Then buckle up for your space ride.**

The alien tongue slipped through the doctor’s lips to soon meet his tongue. Venom could feel a high amount of anxiety from Dan but also a hint of… desire?

 **Oh, the good doctor Dan is not** **_that_ ** **pure, is he?** The lusty symbiote giggled.

To Venom’s and Eddie’s respective surprise and dread, Dan eagerly responded to Venom’s slippery kiss. After all it just was like kissing a human being. With abnormally long teeth and a gigantic thick tongue. But it didn’t felt as gross and scary as the straight-but-curious doctor might have thought. He might even… enjoy it.

Confused Venom didn’t know how to react. Dan liking his naughty kissing didn’t figure in his initial plan! And worse, he was starting to like Dan’s kissing as well!

**Not such an hallucination now. Am I, doctor Lewis?**

As for Eddie, as appalled and aghast he was, a quick glance at his groin told him his manhood had risen up like the morning sun and looked now as hard and stiff as a metal bat. 

Oh no. What a pervert he was! He liked… he _loved_ seeing Venom making out with Dan! He covered his eyes with both his hands but it was no use. He quickly spread out his fingers to stare, worried and horny at the same time, at the fucking hot scene. 

Venom looked more… lively now. As the symbiote said before, he slowly shoved his boa-like tongue down the doctor’s throat who seemed to like it despite his faint moans and the tear that dripped from his eye.

Eddie’s cheeks were on fire. So was his hardened dick. He yearned, he craved to join them or at least fap next to them. Or better: he wished he could have a wild foursome with V, Anne and Dan. Oh god, that would feel like Heaven! If only Anne was ok with it… She liked Venom but-

A loud shriek interrupted Eddie’s thoughts and the human-symbiote snogging.

“Dan?? Eddie? What the-?? What the actual fuck is happening here??” Anne no one saw coming in demanded with a horrified face.

The last time Eddie saw her like that was when she bit off Treece’s head.

Venom slurped his tongue back in his mouth, leaving a bit of drool in the corner of Dan’s lips. The latter grabbed his throat and coughed.

“Oh my god, Dan!” Anne rushed at him. “Are you ok? What the fuck, Eddie?? What were you two doing to him? Are you mad?? Dan, are you alright?”

Her boyfriend didn’t reply immediately for he was too busy catching up his breath.

“You… maniacs! What the hell were you doing-??” Anne exploded.

 **_He_ ** **asked for it.** Venom stretched out a pointing tendril in the direction of the breathless doctor.

“How-? How did he _ask_ for it?? What has he ever done to you? Except helping maybe??” Her fiery eyes threw blazing bolts at her ex and his new alien partner.

“W-Wait, Anne…” Eddie rose up his hands as if she was holding a gun at him. “Let me explain.”

“Yes! I think that’s the  _ least  _ you can do!”

“We… uh… we were…” He babbled as he was looking for a solid lie to explain why Venom and her boyfriend were French-kissing in her house. He just couldn’t tell the truth! Maybe he could say Venom had grown fond of coffee and wanted to get more by deep-throating Dan… Oh shit, now he had lustier pictures in mind! And his dick was still firmly standing up for its rights! And that would be like telling Venom attacked Dan, while it wasn’t true! Not that time! “Uh... the thing is…” He began.

 **Anne, Dan literally** **_asked_ ** **for it! He wanted me to kiss him like I kiss Eddie.** The honest symbiote ruined his plan.

All Eddie wanted, craved to do right now was to die or at least turn into a stone statue.

“You really think I’m gonna buy that? That’s the most... gross lie I’ve ever-”

“No, he’s right… Anne.” A recovered Dan admitted, to both Anne’s and Eddie’s dismay.

“What? What do you-? You… you wanted to-?” She stuttered in shock, pointing out the incriminated symbiote. “O-ok. Ok.” She stared at some blank space. “I think I need some… coffee or… whiskey. I’ll… I’ll figure it out in the kitchen.” She stood up and dashed to the said room.

“Wh-why did you say that?” Eddie squeaked, as shocked as his ex-girlfriend.

“Because it’s true.” Dan replied as if it was obvious.

“B-but… but she…”

“What did you intend to tell her? That I’ve slipped and landed on your… symbiote’s tongue?”

Venom muffled a laugh.

“You think that’s funny, you dork?” Eddie scolded him.

**Of course it is! Can you imagine Dan, or you, falling and landing on my tongue? That’s so unlikely! And stupid! I thought you were boring, Dan, but actually you’re very funny!**

“Well, thanks.” Dan smiled. 

“May I remind you… Anne just saw us! Am I the only one here to be alarmed? What must she be thinking right now?” Eddie freaked out.


	5. Chapter 5

Without notice again, Anne smashed her whiskey glass on the table.

“I’ll tell you, sweetheart.” She answered Eddie’s question.

Who did the great Eddie Brock think he was? First, he makes her lose her job and now he tries to steal her man?? How much did he want from her? Anne wanted to call him every possible name that existed in English, then she remembered it surely was more complicated than that. Everything was more complicated with Eddie. She butted in between him and Dan. She took a deep breath.

“Alright. Just… tell me what  _ really  _ happened. Ok?” She glowered at Eddie and Venom, then at Dan. Expecting any far-fetched explanation. She took a sip a whiskey.

“Uuh…” Eddie called for Dan’s help with his eyes.

Dan responded with an alarmed look that conveyed all of the confusion and fright he was presently feeling.

“W-well, like I said…” He uttered nevertheless and cleared his messed throat. “I… I have asked…” He tried to remember the alien’s name. “Venom, to… uh… kiss me. If… if you can call that a kiss.” Dan nervously smiled.

**I would call that a drill!** The symbiote proudly grinned.

Grin that dropped off at the fierce glower of Anne.

“Don’t… don’t scold him or Eddie!” Dan pleaded his girlfriend. “ _ I’m _ the one who asked them!” 

“ _ Them _ ??” Anne ghastly repeated. “I thought only Venom ki-? Oh.” She realized in an unnamable rage before she furiously glared at her ex.

Eddie swore Hellfire was blazing and flickering in her inquisitive eyes. Even Venom was shivering in fear.

She felt she could break her glass with the sole strength contained in her fist. Then she quickly remembered Dan just told her  _ he  _ wanted to kiss Eddie and Venom, not the reverse. She crossly switched at her current boyfriend.

“Explain!” She commended.

Poor Dan almost jumped out of the couch.

“Anne, I’m sorry. I’m sorry but…”

“But?” She waited.

“I-I’m…” He sighed. “I think I’m…”

“I’ve been possessed by an alien cannibalistic symbiote, Dan. I’m ready to hear everything.  _ Literally  _ everything!”

“I’m in… Oh Anne, I love you, please believe me when I say I love you!” Dan took her hands. Quite to her blushing surprise. “You’re a fantastic, wonderful woman! I truly, truly love you! But… but I fear I… I’m in love with your ex. Too.” He timidly muttered.

“Wh…?” Anne lost her voice. Her eyes grew wide. Had she heard it well? She’d lied when she said she could hear everything. “What? You’re…” She glanced at Eddie. The latter lazily shrugged his shoulders like a convict silently admitting his crime. She looked back at Dan. “You… “ She looked back at Eddie. Then at Dan. “...what??” She tried to catch her breath.

**He said he’s in love with my… oh! sorry,** **_our_ ** **Eddie!** Venom implyingly smiled at her.

“What do you exactly mean by  _ our _ ?” Anne boiled up inside.

That symbiote really had a lot of nerve!

“Ok, can I have  _ MY  _ say in that story?” Eddie grew mildly annoyed.

“NO!”  **NO!** His ex and alien boyfriend both sharply replied to him.

“Anne! This is not his fault! This is not  _ anyone’s  _ fault!” Dan begged. “I… I should have told you sooner but… but I was scared… if I had told you I had a crush on Eddie when we met, I was scared you’d… you wouldn’t want me. You… you really blew my mind the day I met you. I wanted to be with you! Live with you. But… being a fan, a…  _ smitten  _ fan of your ex… was the only… issue… keeping me from asking you out.” He admitted, clearly looking bothered and ashamed.

That news hit Anne like a boxer then she suddenly remembered the night Eddie met Dan. Oh damn.

 

_ “Anne told me a lot about you.” _

_ “Really?” _

_ “I’m a… I’m a big fan of your work.” _

_“Really?”_ She’d glared at Dan back then. Like, her boyfriend had a crush on her ex and the “work” that had made her fired?  

_ “It’s pretty cool. The people he took down…” _

Now Anne was sure if she’d gone home first, Dan would have asked an autograph from Eddie, squealing and bouncing like a crazy star-eyed fangirl in front of her favorite actor. 

“ _reallynicemeetingyouman_!” Dan had rushed his mouth and feet away, not leaving the time for Eddie to just shake hands. 

 

Also the time Dan had demanded her to explain what was happening with Eddie. Like an idiot so used to society’s machism, she’d thought he was accusing her of still doing things with Eddie, while it was the last thing Dan cared about! He just wanted to know what the fuck was possessing his patient in the hospital he worked in! 

Wait. So he didn’t care if she started to do a few things with Eddie again? What? No, what was she thinking about now? As if she wanted to go back to Eddie! Curse Venom and his stupid innuendos! What’s more, if Dan was in love with her ex since the beginning, of course he was the last person to doubt or question Anne’s sexual life. But again, she didn't want to go back to Eddie!

“Well…” She sighed. “Maybe you’d have me to leave you two alone, then. You must have a LOT to tell each other!” She stood up, ready to smash into pieces her whiskey glass into the kitchen sink.

Why did she have to attract the nicest and yet queerest guys on Earth?

“No! Don’t leave!”  **No! Don’t leave!** The three weirdos on her couch begged and held her back. Two human hands and one alien tentacle curled around her wrists. 

“Ugh!” She grumbled. When was the time in her life she’d fucked up so much to end up in that more than awkward situation? “Why? You three seem to like each other very much! Why would you still need me?”

“Why? Because we love you, Anne!” Dan asserted.

“ _ We _ ?” She dared a hopeful look at Eddie.

“What’s the point of denying it?” Her ex gave a shameful smile. “I still hope you’ll take me back, sweetie.”

**And don’t forget me! The best symbiote on Earth!** Venom popped in.

“You’re the only one!” Eddie retorted.

**That still counts!**

Anne had to admit she liked, in addition of being so devotedly worshipped, these three idiots back. Dan, cause he was the kindness and compassion itself, Eddie, well, cause despite everything and the hell of small breeches he still wore from time to time, he was bold enough to go save the world on his own and not too much to claim he’s a “real man” who can deal with his issues without help. And Venom… she shuddered at the look of his sharp fangs. She had crunched on a guy’s head with these teeth. She didn’t remember it yet she  _ knew  _ it. Maybe she should go to a therapist in the next days. At least, and maybe that was her lawyer part thinking, she’d know better about the mindset of the killers she defended before and will have to defend later. Though she knew it was wrong and gross and weird, she was fascinated by Venom. Especially fascinated by all the possibilities a shapeless alien could bring during sex. 

She faintly shook her head. She almost thought about the most graphic orgy ever. 

Then, she considered the scene displayed in front of her. A too close symbiote persistently staring at her and two puppy-eyed imploring idiots. She knew she’d be a terrible lawyer with these two.

_ “Yes, your Honour, my client has committed a crime but look at him! He’s so cute!” _

 “Ugh.” She surrendered. “Fine.”

Anne hugged them both. Dan, her pure innocent boyfriend, and Eddie, her disastrous ex. Well,  _ ex _ -ex now. 


End file.
